


I cannot change you but time will

by blisters



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:54:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24075532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blisters/pseuds/blisters
Summary: Byleth lowered her sword, closed her eyes, and wished for the impossible, for another chance, now that time had run out.
Relationships: Dorothea Arnault/My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	I cannot change you but time will

Soldiers had entered the mausoleum, surrounding her students. Edelgard stood before them and named herself the Flame Emperor, and for the first time in her life Byleth knew what it was to be without hope.

“Why are you doing this, Edelgard?”

Edelgard looked around her. Byleth noticed that Hubert was missing from her side. She signalled to her students to remain where they stood. Then Edelgard turned to face her.

“You should already know, Byleth.”

Byleth looked at Rhea, then back. “Edelgard, don’t do this.”

“Now you think you can convince me?” Edelgard smiled, but it was brittle. She held herself as tightly as ever, but her hands shook slightly. Byleth looked at her face, and thought she saw some redness in her eyes, as if she had been crying. Then Edelgard spoke again and her voice was hard.

“One last chance, Professor. Remain with me, and we will have our revenge. But you must trust me.”

“Trust? After this? After Monica? After my father?” Byleth felt her grip on herself slipping. She had arrived at the monastery half-wild, raised by mercenaries and by a father who had wrapped himself so tightly in the secrets of his past that there was little room left for love. Then she came to Garreg Mach and became a sword instructor, teaching students near her in age but entirely foreign in their behavior. They pried at her with questions, and behind each she thought she saw underhanded attempts to gain access to her past, her weaknesses. Then she drew a knife on Dorothea. The girl had been standing outside her door, and the sun had set. When Byleth realized who it was who had been standing in the shadows, she did not lower her weapon. She would not let herself trust the look in Dorothea’s eyes as she explained why she was waiting for Byleth, before taking a careful step backwards, then another, and leaving Byleth alone. But that had been the beginning. Byleth began to look more closely at her students' faces, and remembered pieces of her past – a girl her age who hung around her when they stayed in Remire, who gave Byleth sweets and flowers and never asked for anything in return. Finally, in her twentieth year, she learned what it was to have a friend.

Now her only friend had betrayed her.

“I did not know that Monica would kill your father,” said Edelgard. “I would not have allowed it.”

“Very gracious of you.” Byleth drew her sword, and the men surrounding Edelgard stepped forward.

“Kill her, Byleth.” Rhea stepped forward so that she stood next to Byleth. Her face had hardened into something Byleth had never seen before.

“No,” said Byleth. “I want answers from her.”

“I can give you those answers, when she is dead. I do not trust any cell to hold her.”

Byleth looked between the two women, who demanded her trust and gave none in return. She suddenly remembered her father, the first time she had asked about her mother. His face closed, and as he told a story about a woman from Faerghus, Byleth knew he was lying to her. Jeralt never trusted her with the true story, even when he gave Byleth her mother’s ring, standing before her grave. Only when he felt the premonition of his own death did he tell Byleth of the journal he kept during her birth. And she did not have the heart to tell him that she had already read it, on the night when he had first refused to speak of her mother. Left alone as he drank at an inn, Byleth had searched his room and found the record of the events of her birth. She knew even then that only Rhea could tell her the full truth, and that she never would.

Byleth lowered her sword, closed her eyes, and wished for the impossible, for another chance, now that time had run out.

She opened her eyes and the world had vanished.

* * *

_her ability to anticipate the future had not gone unnoticed, how she managed to always be exactly where she needed to be in a fight, and was never taken by surprise, it was a gift some called prophecy, but she felt it as an awareness of the contours of the future, a capacity to see the paths along which she and others could move, and where they could not, which let her find her way_

_the past had always been lost to her though, after she stepped forward on her chosen path, otherwise she could have saved her father, instead of turning and seeing the knife and seeing also an ironclad destiny that nothing could turn aside_

_but now she felt a new possibility pressing upon her in the darkness_

_the chance to go back_

_the chance to change it_

_and at that, a voice seemed to emerge from the darkness_

_careful now, it said_

_to change the past is not as easy as you think_

_but nothing remained ahead for her now, so she turned and walked backward_

* * *

What Byleth needed was more time.

It was an hour until the rite would take place at the mausoleum. An hour was not enough to dissuade Edelgard, to convince her that her war against all would serve only the interests of her enemies. Chaos and violence would feed the strength of those in the darkness, who would rise upon fear and insecurity to seize hold of a bleeding world willing to give up its freedom for the security of structure.

Byleth needed more time, and only Rhea could grant it. If Rhea could be moved to mercy, Edelgard would survive, and the impossible choice would be averted, at least for a time. Given space to breathe, both women might see reason.

The audience chamber was empty. Byleth had never been to the third floor of the monastery; as she climbed the stairs she felt she was trespassing, although she had never been told not to enter. Nobody stopped her, however, and she looked out of an open doorway to a rooftop garden, and Rhea.

She approached, and Rhea turned, and Byleth saw some of the same hardness in her face that she would see an hour hence, as Rhea ordered her to kill Edelgard. Hope seemed to die then for her, but nonetheless she spoke.

“Edelgard is the Flame Emperor.”

Rhea looked at Byleth, unchanging. “I suspected as much. What have you discovered?”

“She will attack the mausoleum during the rite this afternoon, to pillage the Crest Stones.”

Rhea nodded. “I thought our enemies might try to interrupt the rite. Well, let them come. I am not powerless, and I have you.” She smiled, then. “Perhaps you have already heard the voice of the goddess. But I would still have you sit on the throne.”

“Lady Rhea, there are still too many things we don’t know. I ask that you spare Edelgard, at least until we learn more about why she is doing this.”

Rhea stepped closer, and placed a hand on Byleth’s arm. “You feel betrayed, don’t you? She worked on your sympathies, and now you find she has been lying to you this whole time. I know how you feel about her, Byleth. I was afraid she might even turn you against me.” Her grip on Byleth’s arm tightened; still gentle enough to pass for compassion. “You telling me this is a great relief, and shows that I was right to trust you, even when others did not.”

Rhea let go of Byleth’s arm, and moved her hand to her cheek. “When the time comes, I know you will not betray that trust.”

Byleth felt a flush of anger. But the heat in her face was leeched away by the white hand that held it, and she turned from Rhea and went back down the stairs.

She walked then to the student quarters. Perhaps there was still time.

Hubert stepped in front of Edelgard’s door as Byleth approached. Edelgard was a fool for placing her trust in this man, letting him act all too often as her eyes and ears.

“You again.”

“Get out of the way, Hubert. I need to speak with her.”

“You’ve spoken with her quite enough.” There was his jealousy. He hated that Byleth had begun to compete with him for Edelgard’s affection, if not her trust. But had there been affection, after all? Had she befriended Byleth only for that moment one half hour from now, when she would exchange affection for loyalty, loyalty without trust?

At the monastery Byleth had learned what it was to have a friend, but until now she had not known what it was to lose one. She had trusted Edelgard, more perhaps than anyone save Jeralt. Edelgard had told her of her childhood, of her torture at the hands of men seeking power, and in return Byleth had spoken of herself. About the isolation of her youth, and how she struggled to understand her students. And about her father’s diary, and what might have caused him to flee Rhea, only to return to her now. When Edelgard heard this she embraced Byleth, the first physical contact she had ever initiated outside of sparring. When she pulled away, blushing, Byleth saw tears in her eyes. From that time, Edelgard had seemed to become more open, speaking with Byleth more often outside of class, taking meals with her, and, eventually, looking at her in the way that women sometimes looked at her, which ended in the bed of a shabby inn. Byleth did not know how to interpret that desire from nobility, and in any case she remained aware of their relative positions as instructor and student. But she had wondered.

Now she wondered if she had imagined it all. Edelgard’s betrayal of her trust had undermined her trust in herself, and she hesitated, not knowing if pushing Hubert aside or shouting through the door would do more harm than good. She had spoken to Edelgard so many times before and never caught a lie; how could she hope to this time? And she would lie, now. She needed only to keep Byleth docile for less than an hour more, before bringing her finally to heel.

She turned away from Hubert, and left towards the mausoleum. If she could not change things with her words, she would use action. There was still time before the others gathered for the rite. She could enter in advance and place herself in position to disrupt Edelgard’s assault before it could begin.

As she walked, she continued to turn the problem over. She could not move Rhea, and did not trust herself with Edelgard. She thought of anyone else who could reach Edelgard, who she could trust. Dorothea was very close with her, though Byleth imagined Edelgard trusted Dorothea less even than she trusted Byleth. Still, sentimentality might be as effective as reason.

But there would not be time to speak with Dorothea, then for Dorothea to speak with Edelgard, before the rite. If she failed now, would she be granted another chance?

So she continued to the mausoleum. She picked the lock and hid herself inside.

Soon the others arrived. Rhea, her attendants, and then Byleth herself. The shock of seeing her previous self had not worn off before the other students had gathered. Byleth shook herself and began to move, looking for the approach of Edelgard. Then she was pulled backward, and her hands were locked behind her back. Then she heard Hubert’s low laugh in her ear.

“Quite a trick, professor.”

She could only watch as, again, Edelgard entered the mausoleum. As she declared war on the church, and laid her demand before Byleth’s past self. And again, Byleth lowered her sword. She closed her eyes. And disappeared.

Silence, then cries, and Rhea called out: “Oh Goddess, where have you taken her?”

Edelgard’s soldiers began their sack, but Edelgard herself stood still, watching the space from where Byleth had left.

* * *

_i did warn you, didn’t i_

_again? are you sure?_

* * *

It was an hour until the rite would take place at the mausoleum, and Byleth knocked on Dorothea’s door.

“Who is it?”

“Byleth.”

Dorothea opened the door. “Professor! What can I do for you?”

“Could I speak with you, privately?”

Dorothea’s face shifted quickly from surprise to archness. “Of course. Come in.”

When the door was closed Byleth spoke. “It’s about Edelgard.”

“Ah.” Dorothea’s expression flattened before she smiled up at Byleth. “I should have known.”

Byleth frowned, looking at Dorothea. Then she understood the girl’s expression, and how it had shifted at the mention of Edelgard.

“I’m not looking for that sort of advice, Dorothea.”

Dorothea flushed. “I – forgive me. What, then … ?”

“What do you know of Edelgard’s plans, as emperor?”

Dorothea laughed. “Do you think she would tell them to me, professor?”

“I believed you were close.”

“We were, I suppose.”

“But no longer?”

Dorothea sighed, and sat on the edge of her bed. “She has been distant, lately. If she was anyone else I might imagine she was just busy, or preoccupied. But everything she does is so – deliberate.” So Edelgard had pushed away her friends in preparation for today. Dorothea looked up at Byleth. “Have you noticed it too?”

She hadn’t, because Edelgard hadn’t been pushing Byleth away. She had been drawing her closer, so that when the moment of crisis arrived, Byleth would not refuse her. Edelgard needed Byleth in a way she did not need Dorothea.

Byleth sat down on the bed.

“Professor?” Dorothea leaned closer, and saw something of what Byleth was feeling. “Professor, do you know something? About Edelgard?”

Byleth rested her face in her hands. “During the rite today, she will arrive with soldiers. She will sack the mausoleum and declare herself against the Church. And there’s nothing I can do to stop her.”

Dorothea stared, and said nothing.

“That’s why I came to you,” Byleth said. “I thought you might be able to reach her. But she’s closed herself off to everyone.”

“Even to you?”

“Even to me.”

There was silence, until she heard Dorothea move and then she was holding her. “I’m sorry, Byleth.”

Byleth had not been embraced since the night she told Edelgard about her father’s diary, and let her place her hand on Byleth’s chest to feel her silent heart. When Edelgard pulled her hand away, she had the pained look that Byleth had seen on others, who saw something inhuman in her; and for the first time she was not prepared to face rejection. But then Edelgard wrapped her arms around Byleth and pulled her closer still. “Oh, you poor, dear thing.”

Now Dorothea’s hand moved on Byleth’s shoulder, and she took it in her own, before it could find its way to her heart, or her neck, and find stillness where blood should beat. Byleth turned to her. There was sympathy in Dorothea’s eyes, and something more. It was the same look she had worn on the night, months before, when Byleth had drawn a knife on her. At the time, surprised and suspicious of kindness, she had taken it for cunning. Now, she saw understanding, determination, want. She reached out to the one thing she knew to be true, and drew Dorothea into her. Dorothea gasped, then pressed herself into the kiss, and Byleth needed all of her.

Byleth lifted Dorothea’s legs onto the bed and lay upon her, one hand in her hair and the other rising up her thigh, raising waves out of her skirt as her thumb brushed the join of her leg and pelvis. Dorothea sucked in a breath, and Byleth stilled.

“Is this alright?” The girl underneath her was flushed and breathless.

“Yes.” She buried her face in Byleth’s shoulder. “Oh please, please, please.” She reached down and guided Byleth’s hand the rest of the way.

Later they lay together on the bed. Dorothea’s head was on Byleth’s shoulder, and Byleth ran her hand through her hair. Then Dorothea lifted her head to look at her.

“You’re in love with Edelgard, aren’t you?”

Byleth spoke slowly, still working out her own feelings. “I’m not sure. I thought perhaps I did. But now I don’t know if the person I fell for really exists.”

“Edelgard does care for you.”

“She believes she needs me to fight against Rhea. Today she’ll ask me to choose between them. She’s been planning this as long as she’s known me. What am I supposed to believe?”

Dorothea seemed to think, before speaking. “Edelgard hides her emotions well, but it’s a different thing to pretend emotions you don’t feel. She’s not an actress. I’ve seen the looks she gives you, too.”

Byleth met Dorothea’s gaze and felt ashamed. “About this, I’m sorry – I shouldn’t have –”

“It’s alright,” said Dorothea. “I’ve liked you for a long time, professor, and I’m not going to ask you to choose between me and Edelgard.” She gave a crooked smile. “Mostly because I think I know how that would turn out.”

Byleth could say nothing. They lay in silence, until they heard the bells marking the quarter of the hour. Then Dorothea spoke.

“Are you sure nothing you say will stop her?”

Byleth sighed. “I went to her room, but Hubert refused to let me in, and I couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t make things worse.”

“Try again. There’s still time.”

* * *

_is there, now?_

_very well_

* * *

It was an hour until the rite would take place at the mausoleum, and Byleth was again facing Hubert outside of Edelgard’s rooms, now for the first time.

He stopped her, as he would half an hour later, when she would come here after her meeting with Rhea. “I’m sorry, Professor, but you cannot see her now.”

“Unfortunately for both of us, Hubert, this cannot wait.” She moved closer. “I must speak to the Flame Emperor now.”

Hubert stepped back, raising his hands to cast a spell, but Byleth moved in again, a knife to his chest. “Don’t, Hubert. You know I’m faster.” He lowered his hands, and she grinned. “As long as you’re not sneaking up from behind, that is.”

She moved the blade away from his heart. “I swear to you I will not hurt her.” She sheathed the weapon. “You will be there next to her. Come.” She moved past him and opened the door.

Edelgard stood up quickly from her desk, eyes moving from Byleth to Hubert. “What is this?”

Before Hubert could answer, Byleth spoke. “Sit down, Edelgard. I need to talk to you.”

Edelgard flushed. “You cannot give me orders here, Professor.”

Byleth said nothing, but sat on the edge of the bed. She sighed, and looked up at Edelgard. “I wasn’t giving an order. You can stand if you want. But I’m tired, so I’m going to sit here.”

Edelgard turned back to Hubert. “What is going on?”

Hubert looked at Byleth, then back to Edelgard. “She has discovered –” He paused, turned back to Byleth. “What do you know, Professor? And how?”

Byleth closed her eyes, gathering herself together again. But then she opened her eyes, and saw Edelgard looking at her, and realized that nothing she said could turn Edelgard from her course. She had traveled through time twice already, had seen herself confront Edelgard in the mausoleum, and had been unable to make any difference.

It had already happened, after all.

Edelgard continued to watch her, stiff-backed in her wooden chair, as serious and uncompromising and remarkable as she ever was. “Professor.”

Byleth smiled, and spoke to herself. “I suppose Dorothea was right.”

“Excuse me?”

“I love you, Edelgard.”

Edelgard’s eyes widened, and she blushed. Hubert looked outraged. “Professor, you came here with certain information and if you don’t explain –”

“I think you knew that,” Byleth said, speaking over Hubert, “and this afternoon you plan to put my love to the test.” Edelgard looked at Hubert, alarmed, then back. “But what I know and love is not all of you. I cannot love the Flame Emperor, and if that is who you choose to be, then I am sorry.”

Edelgard stared, then opened her mouth only to close it again. Byleth had never seen her so uncertain. “How … ?”

“I’ve always been good at seeing what’s coming, just a moment too late.” Byleth smiled, then suddenly felt very tired again. “I can’t make you do things differently. But I wanted to talk to you anyway, while I had the chance.”

Edelgard tensed. “You mean to join yourself with Rhea?”

“No. I would hope you know me better than that.”

“Then what will you do?”

Byleth looked away. “I don’t know.”

The bell rang out the half-hour. Another Byleth would soon be arriving, to be turned away by Hubert. So Byleth got to her feet, and moved to the door. There she turned.

“I wanted to be by your side, when you revenged yourself upon those who had wronged you. I still wish you luck in doing so. But do not wrong others in your turn.” Then she opened the door and walked out.

Hubert turned to Edelgard. “Your majesty, should I … ?”

Edelgard shook her head. “Let her go. And please, leave me. I’d like to be alone.”

* * *

Five years later, Byleth stood in the ruins of Garreg Mach when she heard footsteps she knew, and turned to see what had become of the woman she had loved.

**Author's Note:**

> ###### Further Reading
> 
>   * Hercules and Love Affair. 2008. "Time Will." Accessed 8 May 2020. <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2AClnulw-0>.
>   * Lewis, David. 1976 "The Paradoxes of Time Travel." _American Philosophical Quarterly_ 13, no. 2 (April): 145-52. <http://kieranhealy.org/files/misc/lewis-paradoxes.pdf>.
> 



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